Tag: personal

October 19, 2016

I am a Mom

Filed under: Inspiration, Lifestyle, Mama, Notebook

By Desiree Spinner

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I never get political over here (I have never blogged about religion, sex, marriage or politics)…and for a reason…I want to include everyone and make no one feel left out. But what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t speak your mind?! So here it goes, and if your judging me, I get it, it’s hard to relay my tone with the words I am writing here. But please know that I am typing this post with the best of intentions and just want to share my point of view in hopes that there is someone out there who feels the same way. Even if it’s just one mom or dad! So here is my story…

All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. Yes, I spent some of my childhood wanting to be a post lady, teacher, opera singer, and a librarian (o.k. I still want to be a librarian, you got me;). But in all honestly, I have only ever wanted to be a mother. Even more radical, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to be at home with my kids all day taking walks, changing diapers, cooking for them, talking to them, and figuring them out.  All of the above was exactly my dream day. Don’t get me wrong I am many other things besides a mom,  like a daughter, wife, sister, reader, writer, and more! I am human after all and there are many things that define me but most of my time is spent being a mother.

As I got older, and went away to college I got the sense that wanting to be a mother was not something you bragged about. And it was something that was even labeled as weird, not realistic or even lazy. I was surrounded at school by amazing people with extraordinary ambition and I admired it. There were a few times I wanted to be a lawyer and even an English professor or a business owner (book shop=dream). Ultimately though, raising children seemed like the best job ever.

I became a mom early, right after I graduated. Although this post is not to be mistaken for all the hard work, tears, and sleepless nights mothers endure, it’s the best job I have ever had. Periodically I tried a few ventures that didn’t work out but I realized that I am great at being a mom! I do my job well-at least my husband says I do!

When people ask me what “I do” I used to say the following…

  1. A writer-yes, o.k. I do that but I am a mom! Hello!
  2. I am a blogger- yes, I do too.
  3. Just a mom-oh my gosh the worst! I am not JUST a mom what the heck?!

Fill in the rest of the story with all the various jobs and ventures I have had in between (wedding planner, student, etc.).

In the last few years I have noticed a trend in the business world that you can’t just be a mom because what about when your kids are grown up? You will have nothing to do? Spoken by someone without kids! Even when your kids are grown they still need mothering, it’s a 24/7 type of job that is mentally and physically exhausting at times. BUT here me out-I am no longer going to be ashamed that I am a stay at home mom who loves, loves, loves it. Some days I want to scream into my pillow-but only some days.

Why am I saying this? Well sometimes I do feel ashamed or judged.  Maybe even the same way some moms feel judged when they have to go back to work after having a baby.

On my worst days I think people might be saying…

  1. Must be nice to stay at home all day.
  2. I have to work and take care of kids.
  3. What do you do all day?
  4. Aren’t you worried you won’t get a job when your kids are all school aged?
  5. But what do you do for a career?

The only thing I can say is this…

It IS really nice being at home. I totally respect how hard it must be to work 9-5 then come home to kids if you do this, you are truly a super hero. Writing is something I am certainly passion about and could turn into a career someday, but for now I am right where I am supposed to be-at home, caring for my little ones, changing diapers, kissing boo boo’s, wiping snots, not sleeping, reading stories and most importantly feeling grateful for every second of it <3

 

*speaking of the library-if you are in Providence, RI check out this one above-it’s stunning in person. Photo’s by Leila Brewster.

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Instead of blogging over here the past few weeks I have been working on some writing projects that have been super meaningful to me. I have soul searched about the direction of this blog, and although I don’t know exactly where it will go yet, I feel pretty o.k. with the direction for now. In the mean time I wanted to change it up a little. Here is what I wrote last week to my two little ladies on a regular day at home…

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April 18, 2016

It’s been so cold and windy out lately that we haven’t been outside as much as I would have liked to. Today I got up early, didn’t shower or eat breakfast, but was feeling determined to get you all outside and enjoying the sunshine. Pulling the stroller out of the car and putting you both in, we walked down Parker Road and into town.  It was so sunny and beautiful. I felt happy to finally see the sun on your little white faces after such a long winter.

We quickly ran into our favorite lunch spot and I grabbed a coffee, water, and something to eat for lunch at home. Wesleigh wanted a smoothie and so we got one of those too. We walked the long way home and by the school. They are putting in the new playground so everything was dug up and chaotic. I am so excited that you will have a new space to play and be free.

The ocean sparkled like stars and we could see it from almost a mile down the road. When we got closer it was too tempting to just walk by, and so we stopped to take a closer look from the edge of the road. The sky was the bluest blue, and the water even more so. You whined a little when it was time to leave so I took your picture by the stairs. You both sat quietly the rest of the way home, and I know it was the waves crashing on the shore that lulled you to sleep.

Photos by Brookelyn Photography

Currently in FASHION

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Finding Inspiration

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Animal Coats from Little Goodall

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Marie Chantal Fall 2016

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Lately I have had some seriously weird and kind of scary online experiences.

It all really started last year when a photographer friend who did a shoot of my middle child, found one of the images (of her face) on a site that sells photographic prints. Basically they were selling prints of MY CHILD’S FACE *heart sinks. Can you even imagine it? It totally sucks to share images on your blog and then have them stolen. What sucks even more is that I am the one who put the image out there, it was a shoot that I had posted here on the blog. Never in a million years did I think someone would take it then try to make money off of it! Am I stupid to think that?

This is the first time it’s happened to me either. When I was in the wedding industry, I can’t even tell you how many times images from my weddings were stolen and used by other wedding vendors in their “portfolio” or on social media, claiming to be their own.

It’s beyond frustrating, it makes me never want to blog again-actually it makes me want to crawl into a hole, die, then come back to life and live on a remote island with no internet.

I don’t want to add “please ask permission before using my photos” to my Instagram handle. I just want people to not use them without asking first. Unfortunately this is not how it all works, and hiding in a hole won’t fix it either.

For now I have decided to not share too many photos of my family online. I know this won’t prevent people from stealing but it will make me feel a little better for the time being. As for the future, I honestly don’t know what I will do. Maybe I won’t show their faces? Have any of you dealt with this before? I would love to know if you have and what you think about sharing personal images, please let me know below in the comment box.

This image was shot by Rachel Castillero for the Fox and the Sparrow.