Since becoming a mom I have been a major worrier. Is my baby breathing? Is this ok for them to eat? Should I put them to bed earlier? The list goes on! To be honest, I don’t think you ever stop worrying about your babies even long after they are babies. However, lately (post-preg hormones, I am sure) I have been daydreaming about taking my kids and moving to somewhere remote (Northern England?), having a lifestyle change and doing something different. And, every time there is something bad in the news, it validates my feelings to throw our phones in the river and move to the farm/deserted island/insert your middle of nowhere preference here: ________.
Our little island is very small and, recently, HBO made a documentary about the drug problem here. I know drugs are everywhere, but it makes me sad that the place I grew up has so many people suffering and such easy access to drugs. Beautiful, loving families I know have lost loved ones, and their lives will never be the same. So I have been thinking—is this really a place I want to raise teenagers someday?
When we first moved here, I never thought that I would be staying for long. Our oldest was a baby, and my siblings were only in high school. I don’t regret coming back. I am so glad that Luke got to be around my family and that I never missed out on watching my siblings grow up. Now they are grown and off living their own lives, and I am left wondering if should we be off starting anew as well.
This had my mind spinning until I heard this quote recently: “The grass is greener where you water it.”
Of course it is! It’s interesting because I am always saying the grass is greener on the other side, which we know isn’t true. It only seems greener. It keeps me from making hasty decisions in my life. If we go somewhere new, we will still worry about our kids, miss our families, complain about the schools and our jobs. We must cultivate happiness right now—water the grass right where we are standing. The problems or dislikes we have now will follow us no matter where we travel or move. Trying to make my current situation better before giving up has helped me feel less regret.
So, for now, I am watering the grass right here where we are. Who knows where we will be in the next few years, but I won’t be escaping to a new a place thinking it will solve the world’s bad. I will be going because it feels right, and because I am ready for an adventure.
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