October 19, 2016

I am a Mom

Filed under: Inspiration, Lifestyle, Mama, Notebook

By Desiree Spinner

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I never get political over here (I have never blogged about religion, sex, marriage or politics)…and for a reason…I want to include everyone and make no one feel left out. But what’s the point of having a blog if you can’t speak your mind?! So here it goes, and if your judging me, I get it, it’s hard to relay my tone with the words I am writing here. But please know that I am typing this post with the best of intentions and just want to share my point of view in hopes that there is someone out there who feels the same way. Even if it’s just one mom or dad! So here is my story…

All I have ever wanted to be was a mom. Yes, I spent some of my childhood wanting to be a post lady, teacher, opera singer, and a librarian (o.k. I still want to be a librarian, you got me;). But in all honestly, I have only ever wanted to be a mother. Even more radical, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to be at home with my kids all day taking walks, changing diapers, cooking for them, talking to them, and figuring them out.  All of the above was exactly my dream day. Don’t get me wrong I am many other things besides a mom,  like a daughter, wife, sister, reader, writer, and more! I am human after all and there are many things that define me but most of my time is spent being a mother.

As I got older, and went away to college I got the sense that wanting to be a mother was not something you bragged about. And it was something that was even labeled as weird, not realistic or even lazy. I was surrounded at school by amazing people with extraordinary ambition and I admired it. There were a few times I wanted to be a lawyer and even an English professor or a business owner (book shop=dream). Ultimately though, raising children seemed like the best job ever.

I became a mom early, right after I graduated. Although this post is not to be mistaken for all the hard work, tears, and sleepless nights mothers endure, it’s the best job I have ever had. Periodically I tried a few ventures that didn’t work out but I realized that I am great at being a mom! I do my job well-at least my husband says I do!

When people ask me what “I do” I used to say the following…

  1. A writer-yes, o.k. I do that but I am a mom! Hello!
  2. I am a blogger- yes, I do too.
  3. Just a mom-oh my gosh the worst! I am not JUST a mom what the heck?!

Fill in the rest of the story with all the various jobs and ventures I have had in between (wedding planner, student, etc.).

In the last few years I have noticed a trend in the business world that you can’t just be a mom because what about when your kids are grown up? You will have nothing to do? Spoken by someone without kids! Even when your kids are grown they still need mothering, it’s a 24/7 type of job that is mentally and physically exhausting at times. BUT here me out-I am no longer going to be ashamed that I am a stay at home mom who loves, loves, loves it. Some days I want to scream into my pillow-but only some days.

Why am I saying this? Well sometimes I do feel ashamed or judged.  Maybe even the same way some moms feel judged when they have to go back to work after having a baby.

On my worst days I think people might be saying…

  1. Must be nice to stay at home all day.
  2. I have to work and take care of kids.
  3. What do you do all day?
  4. Aren’t you worried you won’t get a job when your kids are all school aged?
  5. But what do you do for a career?

The only thing I can say is this…

It IS really nice being at home. I totally respect how hard it must be to work 9-5 then come home to kids if you do this, you are truly a super hero. Writing is something I am certainly passion about and could turn into a career someday, but for now I am right where I am supposed to be-at home, caring for my little ones, changing diapers, kissing boo boo’s, wiping snots, not sleeping, reading stories and most importantly feeling grateful for every second of it <3

 

*speaking of the library-if you are in Providence, RI check out this one above-it’s stunning in person. Photo’s by Leila Brewster.

Comments

  1. i love this and i am so glad you shared!! being a mom is the best, hardest, hugest job. i got the same impression in college, but i am thankful the one thing i always knew i wanted to be was a mom… i feel so blessed to get to devote my day to my kids and their futures!

    • Desiree Spinner said

      Thank you so much for commenting! You are SO right:)

  2. Anna said

    24 hours a day, no salary, mainly standing position. Social experiment was made some day and nobody could believe that this job is mom. It is true, it is the hardest job in the world. But we make it with our hearts.

    • Desiree Spinner said

      You took the words right out of my mouth! So true!

  3. Thank you for writing this. I have been typing, erasing, and re-writing a blog about my motherhood feelings but worry that i will discriminate against certain mothers by speaking of the topic. I am the opposite of you, I NEVER wanted to be a mom and now that I am, I am obsessed. I guess we all start from some point in life that can bring us to be awesome moms. 🙂

    • Desiree Spinner said

      I LOVE this! Thank you so much for sharing and for being honest. Please let me know when you post I would love to read it!

  4. Melissa S. said

    Bravo Des! As your mother-in-law you know I stayed home with my children. When I stayed home most of my peers were making their mark in the work force and excelling in their careers. I knew long before I had my children I was going to be a full time stay at home mother. Although I was in awe at the accomplishments my friends were making nothing was as interesting as my children. Let’s hope I made the right choice…only you would know as you are my son’s beloved wife. Xoxo

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