One of the hardest things to do in life is to let things go that have caused us pain or anguish. In my long journey to be a more mindful mama, and person, I have learned the things that have happened to be in the past, or my past behaviors, do not have power over me in the present. What I mean is this: I can forgive those who have wronged me and not feel like in this moment I am am being walked all over on because I chose to let it go. I can also enjoy life in this very second because other people’s actions do not control how I feel right now.
If you haven’t read Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, I suggest you head over to Amazon. Get the audio version if you can, there is something powerful about hearing his words out loud that really make it sink in. Here is some wisdom below that I have learned…
1. It’s our thoughts about peoples behavior that are negative, not the behavior itself:
This one made me mad when I first heard it, but really soak this in. If a friend cancels plans last minute, it doesn’t mean that he/she is a flake or a bad friend. We attach those thoughts to other people’s behavior and it can make us mad, upset, vulnerable etc. When we learn to let those feelings go and be in the moment with our frustration, we can truly see that it is our negative association with someone cancelling plans that makes us mad, and not the person. Realizing that is the first step to letting go.
2. The past has no control over us if we live in moment:
Learning the art and science of mindfulness (life changing read here and here) is what helps me every day live by the statement above. My past decisions, how I may or may not have handled situations, how people have wronged me, hurt me, been unjust to me DOES NOT-I repeat-DOES NOT have the power over me in the present. I can be happy and mindful despite them. Every moment is a new moment. I am not negatively affected by my past, and you should not be either. It does not define who we are right now, it only does if we let it. I believe that with every part of me.
I know you are sick of hearing me say this. But really here’s what you do: light a candle, find a comfortable spot, even put on some music, and just be. Think about why you are in pain, sadness, etc. Live in that pain for a moment. Think about who you would be if that person’s behavior wasn’t affecting you. Would you be more free spirited? Happy? Outgoing? Able to trust? Now think about how you ARE that person because you are letting go of those feelings wrapped around another human’s behavior. It does NOT have control over you and your happiness. If meditation is not for you, I suggest this amazing guide…
4. Work it out:
A good run (or walk) with some “pump me up” music can really do wonders for your brain. Live in the moment during your run, don’t zone out! Put on a podcast if you have a hard time staying present. Working out our frustrations to have a clear mind is the most healthy way to get real about your emotions. It’s also SO great for your body to release any stress!
5. Listen to this Podcast:
Brooke Castillo, master life coach and amazing biz lady, breaks down 50 teachings of Eckhart Tolle and it’s powerful and easy to listen to/follow along.
Photo by Rebecca Hansen of First Mate Photo